420 is so close I can almost taste all the bad jokes I’ll have to weed through

(via dadneedsanap)


boys seem better in theory

(via littleghostpug)


pug pond


when i’m a rich+famous director i’m making a romeo and juliet movie where all the kids are gay girls. romeo? gay girl. juliet? gay girl. tybalt? angry protective gay girl. benvolio? small and soft gay girl. mercutio? the gayest girl to ever grace contemporary cinema 

(via subspacebaby)

(Source: mycatoslo, via fothefox)


I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via billnihilist)

(Source: judyjetsons, via subspacebaby)


It’s got to be somebody’s fault

(Source:, via mermaid-lice)